Often times, we are the last to realize that we are in an unhealthy relationship. These relationships, commonly called “toxic” for a very good reason, insidiously poison us from the inside-out. Toxic is defined as injurious, harmful, dangerous, noxious, and even deadly. It is not a coincidence that clients express a clustering of similar psychological and physical complaints regardless of the type of unhealthy relationship in which they are involved, i.e. marital, work, familial, romantic, or social. The most distress appears to be experienced when one of these relationships is based on a power differential. This power differential often makes “just exiting” the relationship difficult or seemingly next to impossible. Asking for help is even more difficult when you believe you are at fault. You may have commonly heard from those close to you, “Why do YOU stay?” You may have been indoctrinated with the message that YOU are the crazy one by the unhealthy or abusive person. Seeing no real options, no one really seeing things from your perspective, and doubting yourself, makes any movement forward seem hopeless. If you have ever said, “If I can stick it out, I am sure that they will change!” your journey is just beginning.

Although this list is not comprehensive, do any of these feelings/complaints ring true?

• Anxious, on-edge, feelings of dread and panic
• Autopilot, numbing, robotic
• Helpless, hopeless, resigned, powerless, boxed-in
• Obsessiveness
• Over-reactive, hyper vigilant, startled easily
• Thoughts of suicide, “This will never change, maybe then he/she will know how much I loved them.”
• Sleeing and eating difficulties where there were none before
• Excessive attachment to and checking of cell phone/social media
• Flatness
• Nightmares
• Withdrawal from people once close to you
• Intense self doubt
• Feeling like you are going crazy
• Immobilization

At Lehigh Valley Counselors we are here to give you the words and the language to see through the smoke and mirrors. We are here to validate your experience. In a safe space learning and healing can take place. What is more powerful than learning to be your own advocate, dispelling the myths, educating yourself on the brain chemistry involved in love and attachment, as well as, abuse and attachment? Lehigh Valley Counselors is here to assist you in finding that true connection to your core self free from self doubt, shame, blame, and the influences of others.

When you call Lehigh Valley Counselors, know that weekend and evening appointments are available. We work with many insurance companies, and many new clients see their counselor within 24 hours. But you will never be put on a waitlist, because we do not have one. We want you to receive the help you need—call today.